XXV

Was taking a nap.

Cat on chest staring at me.

Going to hotel.

XXIV

Tried to be friendly.

Fluffy Bootsie not amused.

Ball of yarn in shreds.

XXIII

Rescued cat from pound.

Stop looking at me like that.

And licking your lips...

XXII

Fortune from cookie.

"This week will bring you great joy."

Why do cookies lie?

XXI

Got number from girl.
Called now, too happy to wait.
Suicide hotline.

XX

Date was going well
But computer kept crashing.
Must reload The Sims.

XIX

Girl at traffic light.

Thought maybe you were flirting.

EMTs said stroke.

XVIII

Thinking about dad.

Feeling a little concerned.

Who did we bury?

XVII

Got a call from dad.

Said he's ashamed of his son.

Thought he died last year.

XVI

Just saw my ex, Brie.

Her boyfriend pointed and laughed.

He seems really cool.

XV

Decided to sleep.

I'm sure my phone will wake me.

Making friends is hard.

XIV

John didn't come back.

Guards kicked me off the subway.

I'll wait by the phone.

XIII

Named my new friend John.

Wondering when he'll be back.

He must like 'N Sync.

XII

Finally woke up.

Crusted blood covers my face.

I miss my new friend.

XI

Made friend on subway.

Saw that I had an iPod.

"Mugged" is a strong word.

X

My snowman was crushed.

Coal and carrot in the snow.

Girl scouts can be cruel.

IX

Checked my messages.

Blockbuster clerk used choice words.

Crying dulls the pain.

VIII

Coworkers found this.

They tell me I'm so funny.

They think it's a joke.

VII

Surfing the channels

Infomercial for home gym

My abs are sub-par.

VI

Waiting at cafe.

Servers know I've been stood up.

Guess I'll have dessert.

V

Antidepressants

Just seem to make me randy.

Wait...took the wrong pills.

IV

Sometimes through the night

I can hear a baby laugh

I know it's at me.

III

Just checked my Email

Seems I have a follower

Will you be my friend?

II

Tried to be fancy--

Made a soufflé but it burned.

Cried myself to sleep.

I

Started a new blog.

Realized that nobody cares.

I am sad today.